Family Ties

I was reading in the paper and saw the comment "Hard start led to life of crime"(E. Q). It was an article discussing child violence and those who commit major violent crimes as children. I read the words over and over and hit me deep within. I realized that family, and family ties are so important to ones life, both children and adults alike. I never committed a crime but I understood how being in an environment of love (true love) could cause one to flourish and without it could lead to dismal outcomes and unfortunately, even destruction that resulted at the hands of the kid in the article I read.

It was weird, how an article about a life that was so different from mine growing up had resonated with me. I suppose I could attribute it to the fact that the families I saw growing up and who many of us in the community aspired to be is not what society sees today. Duh right? That's a no brainer, but it's because of how life in society has transformed, that my reality as a kid is vastly different than it is as an adult. So much so that, I could empathize with the pain children may feel (or do) when they are not being properly cared for. I've always said that when you are where you're supposed to be you flourish. Much like this kid. He wasn't in an environment where he could flourish and it had major consequences on his life. The right environment is the difference between merely breathing air and taking up space or living fully in the moment and sharing time, space, love, and life with people who share a commitment to the well being of each other. That's not the way a young person would rationalize it , I know. But that's an important factor in family. I think back to when I was younger and realize that I lived a full life despite all it's ups and downs. I had grown in an unique environment that was full of love.

But, I quickly snap back to my current reality and wonder what about this article with children living a life of crime in society so provoked my own self reflection. Perhaps the child I was could not identify with today's kids, but, the adult in today's world can. And simply put, what took me decades to find out, many of these kids learned too soon in their young lives. And that is, family may bind you to a group of people in name only but love determines so much of who you become in that family and society.

When you don't get what you need, you move through life with less ease than you would if you had. None of this changes the fact that we are all accountable for our lives and how we treat people but, it does emphasize the need to establish and develop dependable relationships with others. Of course I don't expect children to come to that conclusion if I'm honest such revelations can be disheartening even for myself.

If you like this article or have thoughts about family relationships and its impact on our lives, please share your comment. Plus check back again for the followup to this article:  Who told you how to love me, a discussion and analysis of why it's important to love people according to their love language. In a world that is full of contradictions, it's so important to assess how we engage each other and determine what's driving our action and how we love or don't love.